Well… THAT was weird.
Looks like we experienced a brief glitch in the matrix with our website today, but reality has been restored and we’re back online! ☕✨
To celebrate surviving the digital chaos, we’re bringing back:
⚡ Glitch in the Matrix Coffee ⚡
A Glitch in the Matrix has been detected.
Resurrect reality with this limited nutty & caramel-soaked coffee cake coffee before it disappears again… 👀
Built on a Brazilian Arabica medium roast — naturally lower in acidity, smooth body, the kind of base that carries layered flavoring without muddying it. Nutty, caramel, and vanilla each need room to land; a clean, balanced medium roast gives them that.
The flavor comes from natural and artificial flavoring applied after roasting — not baked into the roast profile, not something you have to brew a specific way to find. Air-roasted to order with 100% solar power. Even heat, no scorching, which keeps the cup clean and the three-flavor combination reading as a cohesive whole rather than competing notes.
Nutritional Info
Black coffee is essentially zero-calorie — what you add is your call. The flavoring in this coffee contains no sugar and no sweeteners. No added carbohydrates, naturally keto-friendly. No gluten-containing ingredients.
How to Brew
Auto Drip: 2 tablespoons per 8 oz of water. Medium grind. All three flavor notes come through well at standard brew strength — no need to adjust.
Pour Over: Same ratio as drip. Steady, even pour. Good option if you want the hazelnut and vanilla to come through with a little more clarity.
French Press: 1 tablespoon per 4 oz of water, coarse grind. Steep 4 minutes, press slow. Full immersion brings out the caramel depth in the finish.
Iced: Brew double strength over ice, or cold brew overnight. The hazelnut and caramel hold up well cold — works particularly well with a splash of cream.
K-Cups: Compatible with Keurig 1.0 and 2.0 machines. 12-count box. Same coffee, no measuring required.
Storage: Resealable bag — keep it sealed, store in a cool dry place away from direct light. Airtight container after opening. Best within 4 weeks of opening.
FAQ
Does it taste sweet without adding sugar?
Yes — the natural and artificial flavoring gives it a hazelnut, caramel, and vanilla character that reads as sweet without any added sugar or sweetener. It's a dessert flavor combination without the dessert. Brew strength and what you add will shift how pronounced that is, but black out of the pot is genuinely good.
Is this coffee easy on the stomach?
It tends to be, and there are a few reasons for that. We air-roast all of our coffee — unlike drum roasting, air roasting circulates heat evenly around the bean rather than scorching it against a hot surface, which generally produces a smoother, gentler cup. We also use a Brazilian bean base, and Brazilian beans are naturally lower in acidity thanks to the growing altitude and processing methods used there. Add a medium roast to the mix — longer roast time means less of the compounds that can irritate a sensitive stomach — and you've got a cup that tends to sit a lot easier than most. No guarantees, because everyone's different, but if coffee and your stomach have had a complicated relationship, this is a reasonable place to start.
Does this coffee contain nuts?
No actual nuts — the nutty character comes from flavoring, not from nut ingredients. If you have a nut allergy, check with your doctor before consuming any flavored coffee product.
Do you offer a decaf version?
Yes — it is available in decaf. Same flavor, same air-roasted process, without the caffeine. Our decaf uses the Mountain Water Process, which skips the harsh chemical solvents. All the flavor, none of the 2am regrets.
What's the difference between the bag and the K-Cups?
Same coffee, different format. The bag gives you flexibility on grind and brew method. The K-Cups are 12-count boxes compatible with Keurig 1.0 and 2.0 machines — grab-and-go with no measuring required.
Is this coffee keto-friendly?
Yes — black coffee has zero sugar, zero sweeteners, and no added carbohydrates. The flavoring adds no sugar either. Naturally keto-friendly as a factual spec, not a lifestyle claim.
What other coffees pair well with this one?
If you're into flavored coffees that lean rich and nutty, our other dessert-inspired roasts are worth a look. Our snack line is a natural companion if you want something to go alongside your cup.
