Life's a dumpster fire? Cool, same.
When screaming into the void doesn't work, this is the next best thing — one chocolate fudge, dark roast sip at a time. No energy? No problem. Just brew, drink, and pretend everything's fine. (It's not, but this helps.)
Medium roast on our Brazilian base, air-roasted to order using solar power, with custom chocolate fudge flavoring added after roasting — 100% Arabica. Works in drip, French press, or single-serve pod (compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0), for mornings when you've basically given up but still need coffee. Running on caffeine and chaos? Same.
- 100% Arabica, Brazilian-base medium roast with custom chocolate fudge flavoring
- Rich chocolate fudge notes come from custom flavoring applied after roasting
- Flavoring is free of the top 8 allergens — no real nuts or dairy
- Zero sugar, zero sweeteners, no added carbohydrates — naturally keto-friendly
- No gluten added — not a dedicated gluten-free facility
- Air-roasted to order using solar power
- Available in whole bean, ground, and single-serve pods (12-count, compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0)
The Beans
100% Arabica, medium roast on our Brazilian base — air-roasted to order using solar power, no exceptions, no matter how together we are or aren't that day.
Custom chocolate fudge flavoring is added after roasting, layered over the medium roast for a rich, dessert-adjacent depth. The flavoring is free of the top 8 allergens — no real nuts or dairy — and kosher certified. This is a core lineup product, not a limited release, so it'll be here the next time you need it too (and you will).
Nutritional Info
Black coffee is essentially zero-calorie — what you add is your call. The flavoring in this coffee contains no sugar and no sweeteners. No added carbohydrates, naturally keto-friendly. No gluten added — not a dedicated gluten-free facility.
How to Brew
Perfect for when you're too overwhelmed to function — aka every Monday. Works in drip brewers and French press; for drip, start with about 2 tablespoons of coffee per 6 oz of water and adjust to taste.
Or — for when you've completely given up on measuring anything — the single-serve pods (12-count) are compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0 machines. Press the button. That's the whole instruction.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions about Coping the F%k Outta This Life Coffee
Is this coffee easy on the stomach?
It tends to be, and there are a few reasons for that. We air-roast all of our coffee — unlike drum roasting, air roasting circulates heat evenly around the bean rather than scorching it against a hot surface, which generally produces a smoother, gentler cup. We also use a Brazilian bean base, naturally lower in acidity thanks to the growing altitude and processing methods used there. A darker roast goes further still — the longer roast time reduces acidity significantly, so this one tends to be among the easiest on the stomach in our lineup. No guarantees, because everyone's different, but if coffee and your stomach have had a complicated relationship, this is a reasonable place to start.
Does it taste sweet without adding sugar?
Yes — the custom flavoring gives it a rich chocolate fudge character that reads as sweet without any added sugar or sweetener. Brew strength and what you add will shift how pronounced that is, but black out of the pot is genuinely good — or as good as anything can be on a Monday.
Is this coffee keto-friendly?
Yes — black coffee has zero sugar, zero sweeteners, and no added carbohydrates. The custom flavoring in this coffee adds no sugar either. Naturally keto-friendly as a factual spec, not a lifestyle claim — though if it helps you cope, that's a bonus.
Do you offer a decaf version?
Not for this one — Coping the F%k Outta This Life is currently available in regular only, which honestly tracks. If decaf is a dealbreaker, our decaf lineup is worth a look.
What's the difference between the bag and the single-serve pods?
Same coffee, different format. The bag gives you flexibility on grind and brew method — whole bean or ground, your call. The single-serve pods come in 12-count boxes and are compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0 machines — for when pressing one button is genuinely all you can manage.
Is the "hint of emotional breakdown" a real flavor note?
No — that one's a joke. The real flavor notes are rich chocolate fudge over a dark roast base. The emotional breakdown part is more of a vibe than an ingredient, and unfortunately not something we can put in a bag.
What other coffees pair well with this one?
If you're into flavored coffees that lean rich and indulgent, our other dessert-inspired roasts are worth a look. Our snack line is also a natural companion if you want something to go with your cup — or your Monday.
