Deep-fried, chocolate, cookie-shaped. We have no further explanation.
CASE FILE 002 — FIELD NOTES
Origin of the object: unconfirmed. Composition: chocolate, sweet cream filling, a toasted golden edge consistent with deep-frying. Witnesses agree it shouldn't work. Witnesses agree it does.
New to this year's lineup, and we're standing behind it completely. It's the coffee version of the fair-food dare nobody backs down from — dessert in a mug, evidence optional.
- Rich chocolate and sweet cream filling with a toasted, fried-edge finish
- Medium-dark roast, air-roasted to order using solar power
- Zero sugar, zero sweeteners, no added carbohydrates — naturally keto-friendly
- No gluten added — not a dedicated gluten-free facility
- Available in regular and decaf (Mountain Water Process)
- Single-serve pods compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0
The Beans
Medium-dark roast, Brazil (Cerrado) bean base, 100% Arabica. Flavoring is applied post-roast — rich chocolate and sweet cream filling up front, with a toasted, golden-fried edge underneath. Air-roasted to order using solar power. This is a seasonal flavor, part of our October lineup and available for a limited time.
Nutritional Info
Black coffee is essentially zero-calorie — what you add is your call. This coffee has zero sugar, zero sweeteners, and no added carbohydrates — naturally keto-friendly. No gluten added; this is not a dedicated gluten-free facility.
How to Brew
Works with any standard brew method. Drip: 2 tbsp ground coffee per 6 oz water. French press: 1:15 coffee-to-water ratio, 4-minute steep. Pour over: medium-fine grind, 1:16 ratio. Also available in single-serve pods compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0 machines for a grab-and-go cup with no measuring.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions about Unidentified Fried Object Coffee
Is this coffee easy on the stomach?
It tends to be, and there are a few reasons for that. We air-roast all of our coffee — air roasting circulates heat evenly around the bean rather than scorching it against a hot surface, which generally produces a smoother, gentler cup. We also use a Brazilian bean base, naturally lower in acidity thanks to the growing altitude and processing methods used there. A darker roast goes further still — the longer roast time reduces acidity significantly, so this one tends to be among the easier ones on the stomach in our lineup. No guarantees, because everyone's different, but if coffee and your stomach have had a complicated relationship, this is a reasonable place to start.
Does this actually taste like a fried cookie?
As close as a coffee can get. The chocolate and sweet cream filling notes come through first, and there's a toasted, golden edge underneath that reads like the fried part of the equation. It's dessert-leaning rather than literal — think "if this cookie were a coffee," not a fair-food replica in a mug.
Do you offer a decaf version?
Yes — Unidentified Fried Object is available in decaf. Same flavor, same air-roasted process, without the caffeine. Our decaf uses the Mountain Water Process, which skips the harsh chemical solvents. Wind-down approved.
What's the difference between the bag and the pods?
Same coffee, different format. The bag gives you flexibility on grind and brew method. The single-serve pods are compatible with Keurig® 1.0 and 2.0 machines — grab-and-go with no measuring required.
Is this coffee keto-friendly?
Yes — black coffee has zero sugar, zero sweeteners, and no added carbohydrates. The flavoring in this coffee adds no sugar either. Naturally keto-friendly as a factual spec, not a lifestyle claim.
Does it taste sweet without adding sugar?
Yes — the flavoring gives it a rich chocolate and sweet cream character that reads as genuinely sweet without any added sugar or sweetener. Brew strength and what you add will shift how pronounced that is, but black out of the pot is already dessert-adjacent.
Is this actually a limited release?
Yes. Unidentified Fried Object is part of our October lineup and available for a limited time this month. Once it's gone for the season, it's gone.
What other coffees pair well with this one?
If you're into flavored coffees that lean rich and dessert-inspired, our other flavored roasts are worth a look. Our snack line is also a natural companion if you want something to go with your cup.
